What I do to stop overthinking my decisions
How I intend to care for myself this Spring, without the overwhelm of indecision.
For the first time, in as long as I can remember, maybe in forever, I’m content where I am, with who I am, and all I want to do is be here, be her now.
But that doesn’t mean that I, nor my life don’t need tending to.
I’ve spent so many years, rushing to be the next version of me, to be her, to get ‘there’, because I never felt that I was enough, I feel like I missed out on so much of the simple everyday things in life, the things that I now value most.
If you read my last post, you’ll know that this season I’m letting go of even more, and unburying myself from the busyness that has been keeping me from letting myself be.
I want to know what happens if I give myself a chance.
I want to see where my path leads, if I don’t trap myself in the busyness of life.
I want to know how it feels to give myself what I truly need.
I want to end this season in the knowledge that I took as much care of myself as I could have, that I made space for myself to be.
I want to know what it feels like to have patience with myself, to let myself be a beginner, to not put high expectation on the part of me, that for so long has been kept in the dark, longing to be seen and heard.
I know I need to give myself time to get used to using my voice.
I’ve learnt that life happens, and life will always be full of distractions, and if we are not intentional with the way we navigate through life, life will just carry us along with it.
So this season I’m fully committing to her, the woman I have always meant to have been, the woman who is at ease with herself, has her own back, takes care of herself, tends to her needs, and does not seek validation from others for the things only she has the power of knowing.
I’m committing to not carrying so much, to not over explaining, over thinking, over stretching, over complicating, the most truthful version of me needs for me to love her, care for her, nurture her, and above all allow her the time to go at her own pace, to be a beginner, to practice at being true.
I know I need to let go of the feeling that I have to always be ‘at my best’, that I have to push through, if I want to feel capable of being her, I have to learn to take my time, whilst holding my focus, despite the uncertainty of where my path will lead me to.
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My Current Season
I’ve done a lot more self work this season, than I would normally, I’m already taking deeper care of myself, and I already feel the difference it is making.
I held my workshop Your Current Season at the end of March, and since then I’ve been getting clearer and clearer as to where it is worth my energy going to this season.
I’ve been setting very clear boundaries to uphold until the end of June and within them I intend to pave my path, at a pace I feel peaceful with.
As a holistic therapist I believe that you cannot live authentically, unless you tend to all parts of yourself.
If you are not caring for all parts of yourself, (mind, body, soul) you are not being true.
So much of what I’ve learned about the journey of becoming, I learnt from nature, particularly from gardening, and growing vegetables in boxes.
Each season, I meet myself where I am, not where I want to be, and I take the time to do deep self work and divide the different areas of my life into ‘boxes’, I then get really honest about what my needs are, understand where my energy needs to go, and I set my boundaries, so that I don’t let distraction, nor distrust sway me from my path.
Current Season - APRIL/MAY/JUNE
My Guiding Emotion - I want to feel capable
This season I am prioritising - What already is (I won't be focusing on active growth, if I do it will be a by product of me tending to what is)
My non-negotiables are ( I already have a baseline of non negotiables, and am making new ones this season, based on my needs) - Nurturing my sleep habit, nurturing my reading habit, leaving more white space in my weeks.
My priorities are - my son's academic care, my family's (and my own) overall wellbeing, nurturing my sleep habits, finishing my herbal studies.
Emotional Needs - Nurture sleep habit and continue journal practice
Spiritual Needs - Writing practice trusting I can take my time, not rushing (behaving the way my capable me would behave)
Social Needs - Leaving more white space in my week to be open and have enough capacity to be with others
Occupational Needs - Allow my focus in this season to go to nurturing my community and existing 1:1 clients
Intellectual Needs - Nurture my reading habit and finish my herbal studies
Financial Needs - No unnecessary spending
Environmental needs - Continue to declutter
Physical Needs - Strengthen my core and nurture rest habit (with more reading)
I then go on to get clearer about why these needs are important and what commitments I’m making in each ‘box’, and quantify where necessary, for the purpose of knowing what is enough.
For example, in nurturing my reading habit, what is enough? 10 minutes of reading a day, 10 pages a day, I take the time to know what feels true, and moreover, what I have the capacity for in this season.
I then do not add anything into a box, until I have seen my commitment through.
Be very clear, that these are not goals, they are needs, I’ve chosen what goes into each box, what I need to tend to, in order to tend to myself, what I need to feel relief, to feel lighter, truer, in carrying so much around, in overwhelming myself, in not working within my capacity, I’m putting too much pressure and expectation on myself.
Maintenance
It’s not enough do this work, then take action, that’s not how we tend to ourself, and that’s definitely not how we stayed focused and balanced.
Each day I’m checking in with how I feel, what I need, which part of me needs more attention than the other.
I journal, I make visions boards (based on how I want to feel, not want I want to accomplish), my intention is to feel fulfilled, not productive.
I’ll close now because my husband is waiting for me to varnish some garden furniture, but I’ll leave you with a few prompts that may help understand what you need in your current season.
I have not let myself…
I haven’t kept the promise I made to…
I want to commit to…
I want to start prioritising…
I want to stop…
Don’t underestimate how much change you could create this season, who you could allow yourself to become, if you gave yourself what you need.
I chose ‘capable’ as my guiding emotion this season - I want to feel capable.
Amongst many things, I no longer want to feel that I don’t have a place amongst other writers, I no longer want to question whether I deserve a place somewhere I feel most at home.
I’m going to let myself practice, and I’m going to hold myself accountable.
And I’ve created a community to be held within, and to hold you as you lean into your own practice, should you choose to prioritise yourself this season too.
Are you yearning to let your truest self be? How could you care for her better? What if your markers of success became how at ease you felt with yourself, how present you were with the people who matter most?
What if you gave yourself permission to journey to that place where you are so sure of who you are, what you need and want, you no longer let distrust sway you from your truth?
I created the Let Her Be community for you and I to support us in…
LIVING TRUTH(FULLY)
You have a deep desire to fulfil your calling in life, it is important to you that your creativity has a place to flow and that you don’t get stuck in indecision and inaction. Together we’ll map out clear steps that will help you in cultivating a purposeful life, but work within your capacity and won’t leave you feeling constantly exhausted. Say “Yes” to what is true and be held in giving yourself permission in saying “No” to the rest.
NURTURING YOUR EASE
As life ebbs and flows it is natural to fall back into a pattern of not trusting, neglecting ourselves and putting our work or the needs of others before our own. With the support and accountability of the community you will be able to calm the overthinking, feel more present and keep the promises you make to yourself. Your wellbeing will become the priority.
CREATING ABUNDANCE
I know what you value more than anything is space to be, freedom to spend on or with what and who matters to you most, get support in protecting this expansiveness in which you can grow. I know that for you less is more, because there is so much of life you want to experience and you want to travel light. I know you want the most for the people you love, the places in which you live and financial independence for peace of mind, not for material growth.
The Let Her be community is now being nurtured by its founding members, and by joining us, not only do you get to be a part of this nourishing space, you also get access to my seasonal workshop, a guided meditation and workbook, monthly group coaching, live practice/self work sessions, women’s circles, and other self care tools.
I’d love to hear your thoughts if you are on this journey too. What do you want your markers of success to be? What changes do you need to make to let yourself be?
The kindest thing you can do is meet yourself where you are.
By your side on this journey,
Johanna xo